


Brother Mine

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: FT - Gen [3]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Childhood, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Death, Family, Forgiveness, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Sibling Love, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-17 06:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16511099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Many things can be forgotten in the space of four centuries, but some things endure, buried beneath the surface until the time is right for them to come to light once more. Once upon a time he hadn't wanted to be a brother...then he had forgotten how to be one...but a single word can change all that.





	Brother Mine

  Zeref had been less than impressed the day his parents had told him that he was going to have a baby brother or sister. Like kids everywhere, especially ones that had been only children up until that point he was worried that he was being replaced, but it had been more than that. Those of his friends that already had younger siblings were always complaining about it, jealous of the fact that he was an only child and begrudgingly letting said little brothers and sisters trail after them, and he had never once felt the desire to have one of his own. With all the outrage and fear a six-year-old could muster he had stormed off to his room, shouting that he didn’t want a brother or sister and that they should just get rid of it. An attitude that he would cling to for the next seven months.

_Go away! I don’t want you…_

   Everything was changing around him. His mother was no longer able to play with him as much as she had before, the baby growing inside her limiting her movements and instead he found himself having to read and play quietly beside her, shooting dark glares at the source of his problems. Then there were the weird cravings she suddenly developed, demanding the strangest combinations of food at all hours of the day and night, and he couldn’t understand the smile on her face as she tucked into them, hating the way her hand would curve around her belly as she ate. _What are you doing to her?_

   Next came the changes to the house…to his home. His favourite room had always been the study where his father kept all their books, and where there were deep armchairs that he could curl up in and read undisturbed. There were many shelves that he wasn’t allowed to touch yet, books that were too advanced for him, but one day he would be allowed to read them all. Only now the books were being rehomed, some to the living room and some to his parents’ room, and instead of the armchairs there was a crib with a stupid mobile with lovingly carved wooden dragons hanging above it and piles of baby stuff stashed everywhere.

_Go away! Stop changing everything…._

**

   Despite his attempts to slow if not stop the changes, the months seemed to pass in the blink of an eye, and he was no closer to accepting the fact that their family was growing, even though his parents had done and said everything they could to make him realise that it wasn’t going to change everything. Which was why he was sat outside his parents’ room, hands clamped over his ears as his mother cried out in pain, the healer and his father frantically trying to soothe her. _How can it be a good thing if it’s hurting her so much?_ Sniffling he buried his face in his hands as she cried out again, swearing that he was never going to forgive the baby for this. Promising that no matter what his mother and father said, there was no way he was going to accept the baby. It was an invader in their family. He couldn’t do anything to it, he had seen how happy his parents were when they talked about it, but he wouldn’t welcome it.

_Go away…_

   It seemed like hours later when he finally heard it, the thin wailing cry that seemed to echo through the house and as he pulled his hands away from his ears he felt a strange urge to run towards the sound. However, he stayed put, wiggling in his seat as the baby cried from within the room, and now he strained his ears, trying to hear what the murmuring voices were saying but it was no use _. What was going on? Why was it still crying?_ The sound was tugging at him, and he found himself getting to his feet before he knew what he was doing, and he was inching towards the door handle when the door swung open and the healer nearly ran into him. Apologising the woman rested a hand on his head, smiling cheerfully down at him and murmuring a quiet congratulations and he felt like asking what for…he didn’t want this baby…he didn’t, and yet when he heard his father calling him into the room he practically ran inside, and deep down he had to admit that he wanted to see the baby, especially as it finally seemed to have stopped crying.

   He came to a halt just inside the room, wrinkling his nose as he took in the state the room was in and the smells lingering in the air, but he dismissed that as unimportant as his attention turned to his parents. His father was beaming, looking ridiculously happy as he sat next to his mother on the bed. His mother on the other hand looked absolutely exhausted, pink hair sticking out in all directions rather than being in its usual neat bun, but she was smiling down at what looked like a bundle of blankets in her arms. However, barely a moment had passed before she was looking up at him, and her smile grew as she met his gaze.

“Come here Zeref,” she said sweetly, and he didn’t argue. He’d never been able to resist her when she used that tone of voice, but he slowed down as he reached the end of the bed, realising that the bundle she was cradling so delicately was wiggling slightly and he couldn’t help but eye it suspiciously.

“Is that…?”

   She nodded encouragingly at him, and he glanced up at his father for further reassurance and seeing his warm smile he moved forward again, tiny, shuffling steps until he reached the top of the bed. Glancing uneasily between the pair he summoned up his courage and leant in, eyes widening as he finally got a good look at the baby they had been waiting so long for. It was nothing like he’d imagined…where was the monster who’d been busy turning his life upside down? He…for it was definitely a boy, was tiny. Delicate. His skin pink and somewhat wrinkled in places, eyes squeezed shut as he played with the edge of his blankets and a cute tuft of hair the same colour as their mother’s, and months of dread and anger faded away and he felt his lips curling up in a smile. With a nervous glance at his parents he reached out, waiting until he got an approving nod from his mother before brushing his fingers gently across the tiny being’s head. _Mine…_

“Meet you little brother, Natsu,” his mother murmured softly, happy tears trickling down her cheeks as she watched her sons interacting as Natsu’s eyes slipped open at the gentle touch, gurgling softly as he turned blurry eyes towards Zeref and she marvelled at the soft expression on her eldest’s face as he stared down at Natsu.

_My precious boys…_

****

    He’d loved Natsu from the moment he had laid eyes on him, and at the time he had never thought that it was possible for him to love his brother more than he did in that moment. Yet it seemed that nearly every moment after that the little, pink-haired boy was determined to prove him wrong. The first couple of years were fairly boring, there was only so much Natsu could do at that stage and yet Zeref found that he didn’t care. To the disbelief of his friends he would spend a vast amount of his time just watching over his brother, happily helping his mother look after Natsu even if it meant missing out playing with the others and whenever they asked if he ever found the baby annoying he would just shake his head with a soft smile.

_Natsu is mine…_

   It didn’t take long for Natsu to start learning how to walk, even though his attempts seemed to involve tottering a few steps before falling on his bum, and Zeref spent hour upon hours gently encouraging the toddler to try again, soothing the aches and bumps that came from his falls. Every action met by a brilliant grin from the olive-eyed toddler, and the entire family soon learned that Natsu’s main motivation to get anywhere was to reach his brother’s side. As long as he could see Zeref he didn’t seem to care how long it took him to get there, or how often he fell, he would toddle along with grim determination only to babble happily when he was swept up into his brother’s arms. Their parents would watch over them, smiling at the sight of the boy who had fiercely declared that he never wanted a brother being infinitely patient with the toddler, and Zeref merely smiled when they joked that Natsu would probably follow him anywhere in the world.

   Perhaps it was unsurprising then when Natsu’s first attempt at speaking had come, it hadn’t been mum or dad, but rather a mangled attempt at his brother’s name. It had taken them all a few minutes to work out exactly what he was trying to say to them, but when they had, nothing could get the grin off Zeref’s face for the next month or so. He was studying hard at that point, trying to learn more and more magic, determined to become a proper mage so that he could always protect his little brother and his father and tutor heaped praise on his head, and yet his proudest accomplishment was being 'ZeZe’ to his little brother. Slowly Natsu learnt other words, but for a long time even after he had learnt how to say his brother’s name properly, he would still use that nickname and every time it ignited a warm feeling in Zeref’s chest.

   At night he would sleep curled around his little brother, not caring that they had separate beds or rooms, and their parents had long since stopped trying to separate them as Zeref would always sneak in regardless or Natsu would howl the place down until ‘ZeZe’ came to calm him down. Often their mother would come and tell them stories, rarely using books as she preferred to make them up as she went, and Zeref loved the wide-eyed look of wonder on his brother’s face as they both listened intently to her words. Afterwards he would whisper stories of his own, tales of magic, tales of their future and each time he would end it with a gentle kiss to messy pink hair and a silent promise that they would always be together.

_Natsu, I never want to stop being your ZeZe._

****

   Magic. His little brother had magic. It was completely different to his own, and barely a tiny spark in comparison, but he knew from the moment they’d walked into the living room to find the rug on fire that Natsu had the potential to become great…possibly even greater than him. Of course, that was if they could stop him from burning down the house in the meantime, as it turned out that Natsu was rather fond of his flames, and completely lacked any awareness of just how dangerous his abilities could be. Seeing the somewhat worried looks on his parents faces as they studied Natsu, especially when the stubborn now four-year old had refused to listen to his brother’s tutor, Zeref took it upon himself to start teaching his brother what he could.

   It was slow going, Natsu was made for fun and mischief, and it was hard to get him to focus on learning to use his magic properly, but he didn’t mind. All the stress and pleading was worth it as he watched his little brother’s flames growing brighter and stronger albeit, only marginally less destructive, although he seemed more willing to listen to Zeref’s orders that he was only to use them during practice. They certainly lost less soft furnishings after that point. His parents smiled and praised him for his efforts, but he shrugged it off, watching with a fond smile as Natsu accidently melted an entire candle rather than just lighting the wick like he was meant to.

_I want to see your flames grow…_

**

   Perhaps it was punishment. Maybe he had taken his life for granted. He had parents who loved him and encouraged him every step of the way, and he had a little brother that trailed after him and adored him with a simple innocence that never failed to bring a smile to his face. Looking back, it was impossible to believe that he was the same child who had been so adamantly against Natsu’s existence before he was born. Natsu was his world. It was because of Natsu that he had been out of the house that day…travelling to the next village for a magical test so that he could go to the next level. He had wanted to take Natsu with him, well aware of how much his little brother loved travelling and watching his magic, but his parents had been worried that he would be too distracted with Natsu there and so reluctantly he had left him behind. Hugging the smaller boy and promising to be back with nightfall and to try and bring back a sweetie or something, and he’d left with Natsu’s sniffles and whispered ‘good luck’ echoing in his ears.

   The test was ridiculously easy, to the point where he was almost disappointed, and he wished that Natsu had been there as a distraction, just so it would be a little more challenge. Still he thanked his tutor, although he blanched at her suggestion that he considered going away to study magic further as there was only so far he could go where he was now. _Leave? Leave Natsu?_ There was no way. Scowling he shook his head and excused himself, his thoughts stormy as he stalked around the market in search of a present for his brother. _Leave…?_ He would wait. He could always go when Natsu was old enough to go with him as there was no doubt in his mind that his brother would be strong enough to pass that test in the future. _Then we’ll be together…we’ll always be together…_

Of course, fate was going to prove him wrong…

   The sky was barely beginning to darken above him as he headed up the path towards their house, a slice of cake and a small, stuffed Dragon hidden in his bag. After all it was no fun giving Natsu presents without teasing him a little first, not that he was ever able to last long under the force of those pleading olive eyes. _Bloody brat_ …He thought fondly, but his smile died as he was drawn out of his thoughts by the smell of smoke in the air, a smell that was growing stronger the closer he got to their house, and fear curled in his stomach as he caught the sight of red flickering among the trees. _Fire… Natsu!_ Panic lent him speed as he burst into a run, frantically heading towards what he could now clearly make out as flames, his mind racing. _Had Natsu lost control? Had his family got out in time? What happened?_

    Stumbling out of the trees he came to a halt as he took in the devastation in front of him. There was no way Natsu was responsible for this. _No way_ …Their house was completely engulfed with flames, and most of the left side had been torn away as though something had slammed into it, and his fists clenched as he took in the deep marks scoring the ground by the side of the building. He knew those marks… _Dragon…a Dragon did this?_ The image of a starry-eyed Natsu staring at pictures of the winged beasts filled his mind and he shook of his shock, whirling as he frantically searched for any sign of pink hair amongst the trees.

“NATSU! NATSU!” He shouted desperately, breaking off with a cough as the smoke tickled his throat and he doubled over for a moment as he fought to catch his breath, straining his ears for any sign of a response but all he could hear was the crackling of the flames devouring his home. “NATSU WHERE ARE YOU?!” Terror was clawing at him now and despite the danger he ran towards the house, ignoring the burning in his lungs and the way that short distance had left him gasping for breath. “MOTHER! FATHER!”

“Ze…Ze…” He had no idea how he caught the broken whisper over the sound of the fire, but he did, and he homed in on it at once, following the sound of soft whimpering as found himself moving away from the house and into the bushes surrounding him.

“Natsu? Where are…?” He trailed off as he finally spotted Natsu, and it felt like his heart had forgotten how to beat. _Natsu_ …His brother was propped up against a tree and it was clear that it was the only thing holding him up, his tiny body covered in burns, his chest rising and falling in shallow movements. The olive eyes were barely open, but he could tell that Natsu was watching him and suddenly his heart remembered how to function, although the pain that seared through him as he dashed to his brother’s side made him almost wish it hadn’t. _Natsu_ …Tears were already leaking down his cheeks as he fell onto his knees beside Natsu reaching out with shaking hands only to hesitate, there was no way he could touch his brother without causing him pain, bile rising in the back of his throat as he got a good look at Natsu’s injuries. _Oh God Natsu…_

“ZeZe…” Even now his brother was reaching out to him, and despite his fear of hurting him further Zeref couldn’t refuse the pleading look in his eyes, hesitantly linking his fingers with Natsu’s and struggling not to flinch at the feel of blood against his skin.

“Natsu…where are mother and father?” _Why aren’t they with you? Why are you out here alone?_

“Ma…ma…went…back for…” Natsu shook his head, coughing weakly, agony flashing across his face and Zeref choked back a sob. He knew that there was no way anyone had survived in the house, if their mother had gone back for their father… Grief rose in his chest, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth and yet it paled in comparison to the pain he felt as he refocused on his brother, fresh tears escaping as he realised Natsu was struggling to draw in air now.

“Natsu…”

“’M scared…ZeZe…” Natsu whimpered, fingers curling around Zeref’s and the older boy hesitated for a moment before gently easing his brother into his lap, guilt hitting him when Natsu cried out at the movement, and yet the moment he was settled he huddled against Zeref’s chest, his other hand rising so that he could tangle his fingers in Zeref’s clothing.

“I know,” Zeref soothed, his voice shaking wildly. Natsu was never scared. He was never meant to be scared. It didn’t help that terror was coursing through his body as he felt how weakly his brother’s heart was beating, and he rested his head against Natsu’s as the younger boy whimpered again, the sound tearing at him. “I know. But you’re going to be okay, all right? You’re going to be okay!” _Please…you can’t take him as well…_

“’Kay…Ze…” There was such trust in the olive eyes that met his for a moment, that he felt his heart shattering further and it took him a moment to realise that Natsu’s breathing had stilled completely and for a moment he was completely frozen.

“Natsu?” He asked shakily, gently shaking the smaller boy, his eyes widening as Natsu’s head lolled weakly back against his arm, the olive eyes which had been so full of trust and pain only moments before now blank and empty. “NATSU! Don’t do this…please…please don’t leave me alone…” Wrenching sobs tore through him when there was no response…no bright grin…no whispered ‘ZeZe’…nothing to show that Natsu could hear his words, and he broke completely as he realised that his brother was gone, a broken scream escaping as he curled around his little brother.

_Natsu…Natsu…Natsu…_

**

   The house had burnt itself out by morning, nothing left behind but an empty shell completely devoid of life. It matched his heart, Zeref thought dully as he stared up at it in the pale light of dawn. It bore no resemblance to his childhood home, which was fitting, because the boy that had grown up in that house was gone. He had died with his brother, the tiny body currently laid behind him and wrapped up in his cloak. Dry-eyed now he erected two rough markers in front of the house, wishing that he could feel more grief for his parents, but his capacity for pain was completely consumed with the loss of Natsu… _I’m sorry…I’m sorry_ , he whispered silently to the markers before turning back to Natsu, his heart breaking anew as he took in just how small the small figure was. _Natsu…_

   Gently, remembering how it had felt the first time he had held his brother he scooped his brother’s covered body into his arms, bending to press a gentle kiss to the pink hair escaping from the folds of cloth. There would be no grave for Natsu…no empty marker…because he had no intention of accepting this fate. His magic was still growing and there were worlds of knowledge that he had yet to access. Somewhere…somehow there had to be a way to bring Natsu back, and he would find it. It didn’t matter how long it took or what it cost, he would find it, he would get his brother back. Cradling Natsu against his chest he turned his back on his childhood home and set off, arms tightening around his brother as he made the promise that would change everything.

_I promise I will bring you back…_

******

X792

_It was over…_

   He had thought that he had accepted the fact that he was going to turn everything to darkness, and yet as he stood over Natsu, the Dragon-slayer’s body battered and broken beyond repair this time he felt something in his chest shatter. Frowning he lifted a hand and brought it to rest over his heart, confused to feel emotions that he had thought lost to the sands of time stirring, and he jolted violently as Natsu stirred, reaching out to brush a bloody hand against his foot. What was more confusing though was the look in the olive eyes that met his, because there was none of the hatred that he expected to see and the anger from a few moments before had disappeared, only to be replaced a strange look of understanding.

“ZeZe…” Natsu’s voice was just as fragile as it had been back then, blood speckling his lips as he coughed weakly and for Zeref it felt like that simple word has just driven all the air out of his lungs. _ZeZe_ …How long had it been since he heard that name? He’d thought that it had been forgotten long ago, after all Natsu had never really remembered their parents or the events that had led to his death and yet the expression on the Dragon-slayer’s face right now told him that the younger mage knew exactly what he was saying, and Zeref found himself collapsing to his knees beside Natsu, the strength draining out of his legs. _Natsu…_

“You remembered?” Natsu nodded weakly, and Zeref closed his eyes for a moment as grief struck him. Gone was the Legendary Dark Mage…gone was the Emperor…all that remained was a young, frightened mage watching as his brother slipped away in front of his eyes, only this time he was the reason that Natsu was fading, and he raised a shaking hand to his face as he felt tears beginning to trickle down his cheeks. “You really remembered…”

“It’s…okay…ZeZe,” there was a weak smile on Natsu’s face, his hand trembling as he managed to raise it into the air and Zeref stared at it for a moment, before hesitantly reaching out to grasp it. _Why? How can you bear to smile at me? To touch me…?_ “It’s…okay…” The Dragon-slayer’s fingers went limp in his, olive eyes slipping shut as the words trailed off and Zeref’s breath caught in his throat as he took in the peaceful expression that had settled over his brother’s face. As though this was the ending he had wanted. As though he didn’t blame Zeref for anything, and that was when Zeref broke. Pain, both old and new tearing through the walls he had built all those centuries before, a whimper falling from his lips as he fell forward, wrapping his arms around Natsu as tears began to fall in earnest, whispered apologies falling from his lips as he clung to his brother, and somewhere in the midst of his pain he felt the tendrils of the curse snapping…

All it had taken was the death of the person who was most precious to him…


End file.
